Tuesday, March 22, 2011

1 Month....ALREADY???

 I can't believe it's been 1 month already!!  To say it's flown by would be an understatement - but now that I'm acknowledging that it's been 1 month, maybe I should get out of my sweat pants for a few days :)
 As for the twins, their doing pretty good.  We headed to the doctor yesterday and did the weight check.  For most, this is a very normal process - for me, I am always nervous at weight checks
 See, Stephen couldn't gain weight, he had to be supplemented from two weeks on - that was hard for me to handle.  Abby, she was an amazing nurser and never took formula - I felt like I had conquered what ever issue I had with Stephen (please note, that I do not believe that you are a bad mother if you give your child formula, I am just a very prideful and hard-headed person who puts something in her mind and wants to do it no matter what)
 The twins had issues at the very beginning with weight, mainly b/c of the jaundice and the inability to stay awake (except at night of course).  So we supplemented a little until they came off the blue light suits.
So with two weeks only nursing, feeling like they were doing great - plenty of tee's and poo poo's I was somewhat confident going to the doctor.  Talk about a wind out of my sails, little Jude is only 7lbs 4oz and Cecilia is 7lbs 2oz.  This is one of those moments where I am going to be extremely honest with you - one, you can't see or hear me cry which is what I do when I talk about this, and two I just need to vent.

I feel like a failure!  Bottom line, I know I'm not, but I sure feel like it.  I've read all the books, taken the herbal supplements, pumped, jumped on one foot while singing songs (ok, that one's not a proven method of increasing breast milk) still I've done it all - and still can't make enough milk or at least enough fatty milk to feed my children.  That's a hard thing to swallow!  All the books and doctors say that our bodies make enough, we just have to keep trying and pumping and all that jazz - but somehow I'm just not doing the job. 

There, I've admitted it the world - now I will suck up my pride and make a bottle, b/c I know that at the end of the day the health of my children is what is most important.  I'm still nursing, I won't stop doing that - it's to good for them; but we will just add to the routine of feeding twins and add a bottle in there a few times a day.  Maybe, just maybe this will give Alan and I some sleep; that would be the ultimate positive side of this!

Ok, that's all I got this morning - I do have a little Jude who is ready and willing to eat at this exact moment! :)  God bless you all!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Getting outside!

As you can imagine, our lives have been kinda confined to the wonderful walls of our home.  To say the least, the kids.....and their mother have developed a small case of cabin fever.
Ok, more their mother than the kids - due only to the wonderful friends and family that have been coming over and taking Stephen and Abby out and about.
That being said, it was a wonderful break for everyone (even the dog) to head over to Mississippi for the day this past Saturday.  Stephen and Abby played outside non-stop!!!  I can't wait to move!
A huge added bonus.....Aunt Lisa, Uncle Kenny, Katherine, and Taylor all made it over for the weekend so we got to see them and play all day with family.  Even some special friends stopped by to say hi and get a quick hug from the twins!

Abby was tired by the end of the day, but not to tired to celebrate her birthday one more time with her Aunt and Uncle and of course cousins!  What a fun day - welcome Spring!!! :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A little home photo session

Inbetween nursing sessions I thought it would fun to goof off with the twins and some pictures

There's something so fun about taking pictures of newborns......they don't run!!!!
They are just so sweet and innocent, loving, and cuddly.  I just can't get over these amazing miricles!!!  I'm so in love - thank you Jesus!!
My next goal would be to run off to the store, get some props and take some pictures of them together.....we'll see if I make it out of the house before they're toddlers :)
Until then, I hope these very ammiture pictures of Cecilia and Jude will just have to do :)